Day 6 - Love is not irritable

My dare today is to react to tough circumstances in my marriage in loving ways rather than irritation.  I am to make a list of areas where I need to add margin to my schedule and to list any wrong motivations that I need to release from my life. 

The book listed stress and selfishness as reasons to react irritably and listed lust, bitterness, greed and pride as wrong motivations. 

The list of areas where a margin is needed refers to how to manage my stress so as not to be irritable.  So, with that in mind, I would say, when my husband is crabby, stressed, angry, or ugly-acting, I get irritated and upset.  I pray every day to not let it bother me but when he is upset, it's like he's a lemon and once squeezed, all the sourness comes out, and we all feel it.  It's a big tidal wave of negative emotion and So, while I know I can't keep him from being stressed or angry, although sadly, I do still try, I know that I need to not react to it, so working on that would make the top of my list.  And I get irritated when my children don't "hear me" - I've actually said to them, "Do I exist?" because after saying something many times with no reaction, it feels like I'm invisible, and that does not feel good.  Ok, so let's make an actual list of areas where a buffer is needed.

1. not reacting negatively to my husband's stress
2. not reacting negatively to my children's stress
3. making time to exercise
4. making time to write
5. making sure I am heard
6. being more organized in my daily life so that it runs more smoothly (also works with Day 4 dare!)
7. manage finances
8. put on my oxygen mask first before helping others

The list of wrong motivations is more difficult to discern.  We've already established during days 1 - 4 that I am pretty prideful  :) But I really don't think I suffer from any of the other bad motivations that cause us to be irritable.  

I am content with very little so I don't think a lot about wanting more as in money, or things (lust/greed) - yes, I am an admitted keeper but I don't want more things as in the best tv, or car or house, and therefore, don't feel the loss of not having them.  If I had to really think about what is most important to me, or what I do want in this world, I would have to say the thing I want THE most in my life is accord.  Of course, I want love and honesty and respect, and I have that, but what I am missing and what I seek is accord.  I want accord. 

ac·cord   /əˈkɔrd/ Show Spelled[uh-kawrd]

–verb (used without object)

1.to be in agreement or harmony; agree.

–verb (used with object)

2.to make agree or correspond; adapt.

3.to grant; bestow: to accord due praise.

4.Archaic. to settle; reconcile.

–noun

5.proper relationship or proportion; harmony.

6.a harmonious union of sounds, colors, etc.

7.consent or concurrence of opinions or wills; agreement.

8.an international agreement; settlement of questions outstanding among nations.

—Idiom

9.of one's own accord, without being asked or told; voluntarily: We did the extra work of our own accord.

 

Discord is what makes me irritable.  Discord is my bane.  Discord is my bad motivation.   

 

dis·cord   /n. ˈdɪskɔrd; v. dɪsˈkɔrd/ Show Spelled[n. dis-kawrd; v. dis-kawrd]

–noun

1.lack of concord or harmony between persons or things: marital discord.

2.disagreement; difference of opinion.

3.strife; dispute; war.

4.Music. an inharmonious combination of musical tones sounded together.

5.any confused or harsh noise; dissonance.

–verb (used without object)

6.to disagree; be at variance.
 
I pray each day for accord and on the rare occasion when that happens, it is like getting butterfly kisses from angels and I am so, so thankful. 

I embrace accord and release discord.  Wander freely, discord, I release you.